What Were They Thinking?

The Chinese township administrators hiring a blind contractor:

BEIJING (Reuters) – A Chinese court has jailed two officials after they let a blind contractor build a bridge which collapsed during construction and injured 12 people, the official Xinhua news agency said Monday. Huang Wenge, township head of Bujia in the southeastern province of Jiangxi, and colleague Xia Jianzhong were sentenced to 18 months and one year in jail, respectively, for not stopping the project, Xinhua said.Huang Wenge and Xia Jianzhong, who were in charge of road management and supervision, did not ask the contractors to provide certificates guaranteeing their proficiency,” it said, citing the court ruling.

When they knew the bridge was being built by a blind contractor, they did not stop it,” it said, adding the contractor had changed the blueprint without getting a professional to look at the design.

After the blind contractor changed the blueprint, he carried out the work only using a roughly drawn draft of the plan, which caused the bridge to collapse,” the report said.

Xinhua did not explain how the contractor was able to run the project considering his inability to see.

The township administrators obviously thought: “We should be able to get a good discount from this guy, since he obviously can’t even draw a straight line.”

The husband and wife quack surgical team in India:

NEW DELHI, India (Reuters) – An India couple have been accused of trying to get their 15-year-son into the Guinness Book of World Records by allowing him to perform a caesarean operation, local newspapers reported on Thursday.

The parents, both doctors from the southern state of Tamil Nadu, screened a video recording of the operation on a 20-year-old woman to other doctors in the hope of attaining the record as the world’s youngest surgeon, newspapers reported.

Family members said the boy was only helping out in the operation, handing his father’s medical instruments. Indian medical authorities are investigating the case and could revoke the couple’s medical licenses.

The 15 year-old’s parents: “Hell if this works, we can open an outsourced surgical shop, hire a bunch of cheap kids, and we will make a bundle charging our patients full price.”

The potential tourists who would purchase seal penises:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) – An Alaska man has pleaded guilty to selling more than 100 fur seal “oosiks” — or penises — to a local gift shop that intended to sell the items as an aphrodisiac. Michael Richard Zacharof, an Aleut and former tribal president from the Bering Sea village of St. Paul, pleaded guilty this week to one count of violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act.

Federal law forbids the sale of any raw marine mammal parts unless they have been crafted into pieces of Alaska Native artwork. In Zacharof’s case, the former tribal leader sold the raw seal penises to a gift shop catering to customers from Asia. The shop then sold the items for about $100 each, according to the Justice Department.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Andrea Steward said seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra.

Zacharof faces a possible one-year prison term and a $20,000 fine, the U.S. Attorney’s office said.

Does anyone think that if a seal had his penis cut off by a greedy Eskimo, that acquiring said penis would bring them as much good luck as it brought the seal?

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2 Responses to What Were They Thinking?

  1. ms. place says:

    Yes, that’s an excellent observation. Funny and sad at the same time. No matter how much protection we might provide wildlife, such as seals, tigers, and rhinos, there will always be individuals who want only a tiny part of such a magnificent animal in order to have better sex or prolong their own lives. There will also always be individuals who are willing to hunt these animals to extinction in order to make a buck.

    And those other stories? They’re so unbelievable they must be true.

  2. Stanley says:

    The last item in your compilation of “What won’t they do next” brings to mind that hydraulic repairman’s (and I suppose, repair women too) joke that ends with:

    By then, it was time for the penguin to pick up his car. The mechanic steps out of the garage while wiping his hands on a shop towel and tells the penguin, “Well, looks like you blew a seal.”

    “Oh, no!” says the penguin, “Thats just ice cream.”

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